UNTITLED

mah mind's uneasy, i'm startin' to shake
this burden's becoming too much too take
when will mah sorrow ever come to an end?
will i ever get to see happy days again?

i am no hero, don't ever think i'm such
in reality, i have been beaten too much
i am but human, why can't all of you see?
sometimes i have to deal with mah own misery

i can't always be there when you need mah hand
how can i lift you when i mahself can't stand?
how can i carry you when mah own life's a mess?
i am but human, i need some time to rest

as everything goes on, i start to lose strength
the part of me that lifts you is fading less and less
no i won't abandon you, don't think that i will
just give me time cause i've got mah own scars that needs to heal

i am all dried up, i have given all to you
if all i did ain't enough then there's nothing else i could do
when mah life is over, think not of what i've done
i'll do mah best to help you,until mah life is gone...

SENTIMENTS

mah heart's crying softly

alone it bleeds with pain

life has been so empty

there's been unending rain

why am i in this world?

what is mah reason to live?

why is mah soul full of anger?

why is mah face soiled with tears?

people can lean upon me

i can carry their burdens for them

but i lean on nobody,

alone i will be till tha end

i have no great achievements

i have no outstanding wealth

but still i need a best friend

cause even heroes cry for help....

when make up becomes messed up

cosmetics have long been a part of women's (and men's) history, and it has long been a cause of irritation for me. i just can't understand why people put on too much make up that they start looking like corpses covered in paint. cosmetics are called make up because it should MAKE your FACE UP, not destroy your looks and in the process ruin someone else's day. i would understand if i saw heavy make up on tv or on a fashion show, but at work- that's mothafuck*n irritating. what's even more irritating is these women (and gays) are ugly, and they become uglier with all the bullshit they put on their faces. emo look, diva look, all these stupidity with make up makes me want to snap and shoot all these people. since they wear make up like corpses, i better make them real corpses. i know i'm becoming arrogant and opinionated again but for me, being simple is better most of the time. you think i'm talking nonsense here? look the pictures of these god damn heavily made up corpses so you can share my sentiments...
or you can start wearing heavy make up too and be an asshole like them.....
fuck ya'll

PILIPINO AKO-sigurado ka?

PILIPINO AKO- nakasulat sa hindi mabilang na tshirt, nakadikit sa mga sasakyan, ginawang keychain,tattoo at ano ano pa...

PILIPINO AKO- sigurado ka??????

PILIPINO KA BA? ikaw na mas pipiliin kumain ng naglalakihang burger at fries kesa sa tuyo,tinapa o daing... ikaw na ilang daang beses na pumasok sa mga kilalang tindahan ng damit gaya ng MANGO, GUESS at iba pa pero hindi nalalaman na may isang tindahan pala na nagngangalang KULTURA PILIPINO.
oo ikaw. ikaw hunghang ka na humahalakhak sa tuwing nagsasalita ng mali maling ingles si pacquiao pero nakyukyutan sa mga banyaga na nagpupumilit matuto ng tagalog...
ikaw na natutong makinig sa lahat ng uri ng musika- rnb,metal,rock,hiphop,emo....lahat napakingan mo na... OPM na lang ang hindi....

PILIPINO KA? ikaw na hindi magawang tulungan ang isang matandang pilipinang babae na tumawid ng kalsada pero nagkukumahog na buhatin ang bagahe ng isang banyaga na mas malaki nang di hamak sayo....

ikaw, kayo, tayo na ang tawag sa mga kasambahay na nagtratrabaho sa ibang bansa ay DOMESTIC HELPER samantalang ang mga kasambahay dito sa pilipinas ay tinatawag nating KATULONG. ano ang pinagkaiba nila? wala, maliban lang sa pagkakataon na ang amo ng isang domestic helper ay BANYAGA....

 PILIPINO ka bang matatawag kung mas interesado ka pa kung magkano naibenta ang buhok ni justin bieber kesa sa kalagayan ng mga pilipino sa libya????

ikaw na nakababad maghapon magdamag sa HBO pero hindi alam na may himpilan palang CINEMA ONE sa cable tv...

at ikaw na daang beses nang napanood ang twilight saga ngunit walang alam ni isang pelikula na kasali sa metro manila filmfest..

bakit pilit mong ginagaya ang tono ng pananalita ni harry potter habang kinukutya mo ang punto ng mga probinsyano???bakit?? pareho lang sila na hindi marunong mag tagalog ungas....

ikaw tarantado ka na magtatapon ng malaking pera makabili lang ng naglalakihang sapatos na mukhang sasakyang pangkalawakan mula sa ADIDAS o NIKE...pero hinding hindi ka magsusuot ng sapatos na gawa sa marikina....

ikaw na hindi kakain makabili lang ng glutathione para pumuti at mawala ang likas mong kulay...para maging kamukha mo ang iniidolong mong aktres sa hollywood...dahil iniisip mo na hindi ka maganda kung hindi ka maputi...

sa araw araw mong pagsagupa sa buhay, maraming pagkakataon para patunayan mo ang katagang PILIPINO AKO....pero bakit pinalalampas mo?

ang watawat ay sagisag ng ating bayan, larawan ng ating pagiging pilipino...

hindi ito palamuti na ilalagay mo sa tshirt mo o ididikit sa sasakyan mo.

PILIPINO KA- sa salita, oo. pero sa isip at gawa,malabo...

kung tinatamaan ka, TANGINA MO

hindi ka tunay na pilipino



goldmine

you are a gold mine...

yes you are...

and  i have valid reasons...

there is no time of day or night that i do not want to be by your side...never in my 30 year existence have i been so engrossed and addicted to anything living.... not until 2 years ago when your face first registered on my ever so red eyes...and there was no turning back from there...

i will never be a perfect partner...not even close....i am the most selfish arrogant stupid partner a man can be..but you learned and tried soooo hard to accept that fact... you broke down your ideas of a perfect relationship to deal with a low life terrestrial like me...the mere fact that i brought you down from heaven to hell is reason enough for you to leave. but you-whether by choice or by force- stayed...i am truly grateful...

a hundred words, a thousand or all the words ever written won't be enough to describe what you have been to me...a gold mine, yes indeed.

you inspire me to move on even when i don't have the guts to even look at the mess that is my face...you laugh at the corniest jokes i could ever think of...you take care of me as if i was a baby suffering from all known diseases...

i thank you because you made me a part of your life and gave me the renewed strength that i lost.

you literally made me feel like i was living a new life, a new person, a new identity..

you always say that i am your knight in shining armor..

you are terribly wrong...

because you are the one who saves me and carries me through whatever shit life gives me...

you accepted me as i am even though you know its like buying an old beat up volkswagen for the price of a brand new mustang...

i am not worthy of your love...not even worthy of your attention...

and again i thank you..

and i will love you for the rest of this life...and even in whatever life i may have after this...

i've always believed that life is unfair...but i don't give a damn..

because i have you- my gold mine...

YOU ARE GOLD AND YOU ARE MINE....

i love you

on this day...they want you to know...

came across an app from facebook called "message from god" (or something to that effect).  it gives you inspirational phrases that "came" from-well, god of course...i suddenly thought of the probability that like god, the devil also has something he wants us to know everyday...haha...sounds like a sick idea but who knows? i think that the king down under also wants some friends...some one to share his dark plans with...ill try to be satan's messenger and send you his thoughts and opinions...haha...hey reader, feel free to reply to satan ok?

on this day and in everday you have left on this earth, god wants you to know that you are loved by hm, his angels and the millions of saints up there in heaven... he wants you to keep in mind that whatever it is you are going through, he will help you and "carry your burden for you"... inspiring, to say the least. but when you think about it and do just the littlest bit of analization, god will help you carry your burden,yes that's true...but that burden- that came from who?? from god right?so anyone with an iq higher than that of a 5 year old may think: yes you are helping me carry a burden that you yourself gave to me...why don't you take back this burden so we both don't have anything to carry???it shouldn't be too hard for you- you who created everything i can see and hear and feel...you who gave us our loved ones only to take them away in the sooner future...you who with just a snap of a finger can give that world peace all beauty pageant contestants talk about during the q&a portion.... you- who we praise and adore and look up to but won't even show yourself to us... you created this world, this universe...calamities,war, all sorts of demonic and catastrophic bullshit are kiling this world that you created...aren't you going to do something to save your beloved creations??? don't leave the saving part to us,we are mere humans.. we cant create the mountains that man and time has leveled down,the rivers and seas that we have all sucked dry... we cant do that. we cant breathe life into every freaking dead body in iraq or mindanao and make that person live again.only you can do that...only you...
man has been desperate to please you..in search of the best way to live your teachings,man has founded gazillions of religions,each religion aiming to be the recognized one...in our pursuit of your much publicized kingdom, we have killed each other and became divided.. muslims versus christians? a classic battle like toyota and crispa... why??? enlighten us... only you can stop the killing.only you can stop the chaos my lord...it's about time...
you and the devil...another classic match...you seem to love competition...if i were you and i want the whole universe recognizing me as the supreme being, it would have choked satan and his children to death... you can do that...both you and i know that you can...but you don't- probably because you love to compete and watch satan turn green with envy when we praise you. probably you enjoy watching satan cook up his master plans of overthrowing you from the throne...probably- or probably not...
now another thing...you want us to live our lives bound by the principles of sacrifice and love and everything else in between...now why should you say its a sacrifice to send your son and have him crucified? isn't that scapegoating? instead of going down to earth and having yourself crucified, you send your innocent son to be persecuted and lambasted all in the glory of your name...is that sacrifice? i dont think so...


there are a million more arguments that i can raise to challenge you and your principles, but i'd rather save my time...anyways, its not me whose complaining, its satan..remember, i am just a messenger...
bye for now
till we meet again  

putangina bakit?

what good is christmas? or another new year?

it only reminds me that you're no longer here

holidays mean nothing, not unlike before

without you in this darn life, everything's a bore

why leave this world at such an early age?

all the more makng this life a cruel stage

yes i know you're watching, but i need your tender touch

 hug you, serve you, oh how i miss you so much...

i die each day without you, like an empty shell

the impact of your loss is too vast to tell

life without you is one hell of a storm

without you in my life,  i just can not go on

someday we'll be together, by each other's side

i may not be in heaven but at least you'd be in sight

i'd give up everything that i so rightfully claim

just to have a chance to be with you again....

RIP

EVELYN A. REYES

04/06/1956-11/25/2003

DEATH IS JUST ONE BREATH AWAY

paMAMAalam

a tribute to my mother...

im still giving god a chance to return her....

mother dearest,


people say life is crazy,
others say it is cruel
i never ealized how true it was

TILL IN MAH LIFE I LOST YOU....

each day I WAKE WITHOUT PURPOSE

each night I SLEEP WITH TEARS

the joys of life i'll never get to know

for YOU are no longer here...

i may not seem so lonely,

i don't look like i am in pain

but yet deeper inside of me

THE AGONY OF YOUR LOSS REMAINS...

NO ONE can equal what you've done to me

but God's purpose MAYBE soon i will see

deep in mah heart you'll forever be

HOPE TO SEE YOU IN ETERNITY....

whodoes is back

como esta.....
i cant believe that i am doing this again....
that i am back to doing something i thought i'd never do again....
to write...yes, to write in my own fucked up way the experiences i've encountered,experiences of other people, emotions and frustations that an average guy goes through....
to play with prose and poetry imagining i was shakespeare and anne rice and all the authors i have looked up to in the past....
yes im back to writing-in this not so new technology they call BLOGGING....

haha who ever thought of the term BLOGGING? seems like an idiotic term for such a noble activity....
aint it funny that before, people who write are called WRITERS- intelligent forms of life documenting everything with an art that is unique and creative...
 now, if you write and describe and document life on this damned planet, you are called a BLOGGER...
hahaha.... sounds like booger to me

anyway, before i start to annoy you with my senseless sheme of philosophy, allow me to share with you a part of my great mind through this blog ...
a passion i had since rustom was still a closet queen...
i will write and you will read... that is the way i would prefer it...
if at any point you get annoyed by my nonsense shit....then i have served my purpose...
bye for now... and hope to see your losing ass in this blog o' mine soon...

adios abencoe amigo